Monday, 18 March 2013

Let This Be A Lesson


By now you all know what that's about, the media can't stop talking about it. For those of you who've been living under a rock or don't follow any mainstream media (which would surprise me if you're reading this) two teenagers were found guilty of rape recently. They raped a woman who was intoxicated... A point which is entirely irrelevant to the story.

There's a whole movement of media shaming going on. Feminists of the internet have their knickers and jock straps in a twist about how the only thing the media can focus on is how bad they feel for these two young boys and how their futures are now ruined, they will never be successful or have the football careers they can reminisce about when they're too old to play anymore.

It is sad. And there's good reason for the media to keep talking about it, but I feel like the media almost tried to make a point here and completely missed the mark. It's sad that these two boys were never taught that if a woman isn't expressly, verbally asking for and then consenting to have sex that you don't have sex. It's sad that people are trying to make it the girl's fault for having any alcohol in her bloodstream, because if she'd been sober it would have been less sad for those boys' future? Doesn't sound right does it? Why are we slut shaming this poor woman? How is she suddenly not a 'good girl' and therefore deserved it? Does anyone in the mainstream media actually hear the words coming out of their mouths?

Sure those boys are going to have a rough time, especially if they're pretty and in jail. Rape goes both ways. And maybe they'll learn a lesson. I'm not one to tout the old eye for an eye adage, but it does happen. Being on the other side of that coin would absolutely teach them something. Though I hope they don't have to learn this way.

Maybe they will serve their time, emerge reformed one way or another, the world will have forgotten what they've done and they will have lives and continue to live them. They will find work and support themselves and by that definition they will be successful adults. They do not have to become football super stars to consider their lives "not ruined". How do we know for sure that if they had been able to keep their dicks in their pants that they would have been superbowl MVPs?

Maybe they had hopes and dreams about playing college ball. They probably won't be doing that now. And I am not sad about this. I am not sad that they have to go to jail. I am not sad that they will have to learn about life, a woman's rights and feminism the hard way.

I am sad for the victim, but I keep that kind of sadness tightly locked down for... reasons. I hope that she was intoxicated enough that she won't remember every detail for the rest of her life. I hope that it fades. I hope that she seeks any help that's available to her and I hope that she is able to move on with her life now that justice has been served. I have hope that her unfortunate case sets a precedent.

A precedent that would make young guys think twice about whether or not they are allowed to have sex with a woman (and vice versa in various combinations, men are raped too by other men and women too). A precedent in the media who consistently leave out one important word in their lament for these boys — it's NOT sad that these boys have no football or glamours career ahead of them. Let this be a lesson to those of you who want to have a bright future, live the American Dream or whatever nonsense you like to call it. There are a number of ways to ruin that kind of future. Raping an intoxicated woman is only one of them.

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